Last Call

Two hours after midnight,
Snowin' in the winter outside
He's been waitin' for you all night
Caught up in a blizzard within

And he's hopin' you'll show up
'Round the last call tonight
When the whiskey and the wine
Are all through burnin' inside

Then he's headin' out of Joe's,
Knowin' not where to be
Speedin' down the highway
Sane as insane can be

While they said "He wouldn't live,
Through the night here tonight"
He's been smilin' there in tears
Just thinkin' of you tonight

His body may be broken
And spirit may be shattered
But he won't quit waiting
Till the last call tonight...

-abhi

Roof of the Rockies

I was woken up in my seat by our shuttle driver's voice when he announced to everyone that both lanes of the  interstate were closed down and that it could be a while before we started moving again. I was heading to Indianapolis to catch an evening flight to Denver, Colorado. As it turned out, there was a massive truck-fire on the highway that afternoon which caused the huge traffic jam and so I ended up missing my flight, along with everyone else in the shuttle! After reaching the airport and talking to the airline rep, I was put on the 'wait list' for the morning flight out.

An Adventure in Ladakh - Stok Kangri

The breathtaking (literally!) view from the summit

6,153 metres...

20,187 feet...

~ 70% the summit elevation of Everest...

That's the summit elevation of Stok Kangri, the highest peak in the Stok range of the Himalayas, in Ladakh, India.

On the top

Perseids - A simple 'when-where-what'

Here's an easy-to-chew guide on 'observing' or watching the Perseids - one of the many annual meteor showers.

I shall try to keep the tech jargon out so it's just a 'when-where-what' pointer for beginners and people who just want to try to see some nice streaks of light in the sky! :)

Just look around

Till this day we've held each other
In the comfort of a fear;
All the voices in the distance
Tearing apart your love from mine;
When those voices call to you
And if you feel like running away...
(runnin' away, runnin' away, runnin' away...)

Just look around, and may be then,
And baby then you'll find me there
Just look around, and may be then,
And baby then I will be there
Come around, sing along
And baby then you'll find me near

There are questions in my eyes
Staring deep into your soul;
There are tear drops in my eyes
That will wash away the fears;
And some answers that I have
Are for the questions you don't know;
(you don't know...)

So look around, and may be then,
And baby then you'll find me there
Just look around, and may be then,
And baby then I will be there
Turn around, close your eyes
Think of me and I'll be there
(I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there...)

-abhi

PS: another song with the tune in head first, followed by words!

Sleepless in Singapore

Singapore.. known mostly for shopping, travel, vacation, finance companies... none of that was my motive when I came here exactly four months ago. Having completed a short research internship at NTU, I will be on my way back to India in a few hours. These four months have taught me a lot, academically and otherwise.

There have been many sleepless nights before (and elsewhere); usually spent listening to music, writing something only to delete it later or just calling up friends on the other side of the globe. Or better than all of it, just playing a nice, continuous loop of memories in the head. Ah, those endless debates creating havoc in the head, one side playing the prosecutor and the other, the defendant. You, or at least your perception of the real you, are generally the later. One thing really good about the night is that time seems to crawl just as slowly at night as it seems to fly by during the day. Of course, that's only true on a night you intend to sleep, not work!

The long debates die down...the body needs to rest, the defendant needs to rest. The captor, the prosecutor will keep going, yielding only to acknowledge irately that its existence is dependent on the other side. Ironic. 

Portraits - Stories; Theirs & Mine

Portrait #1 

I was in the MRT and saw this girl standing near the window which had a nice blue tint and rain drops strewn all over, thanks to the cloudy weather and recent drizzle. After debating with myself whether to ask for clicking a pic, I finally went up and it turned out to be a rather interesting conversation!

Me: Hi! Sorry to bother you but do you mind if I take a quick pic

(while gesturing with the camera)? Your hair..the window..kinda nice..(of course, I was hesitant but hair?! window?! I'm laughing at myself in my head by now!)

That tear will not be shed now.

Scrolling down the names in my phone still takes a second more to get past yours. There are still pictures you've sent me, tucked aside carefully, not seen in quite some time now. There are still songs I cannot listen to; those you've made me listen to, those we've shared so fondly. And each of these has unforgettable memories - some filled with laughter and silence, others filled with words that never left the comfort of our lips and yet others we've made without ever realising they would be so profound. Yes, I could someday erase these things, these things that mean no more to you than mere objects of a broken dream to leave aside; to leave behind.  

It was a barter from a cold perspective, a very fair barter indeed. You learnt to be yourself, undisguised, unafraid, closer than ever with someone and taught me to accept someone unconditionally. I made us stay apart for my own fears, for my own follies, all the while restraining myself and you from running toward the other. And yes, in the end you showed me how to move on. So you don't owe me anything; no apology, no consolation and no explanation.

The only soothing thought that raises its head above the turmoil, is that of standing on top of a hill, with no moon to pierce the clear, dark sky and break the black darkness around, breathing in the cool, crisp air and calmly staring into the specks of lights of the distant city below...

Opening tightly clenched fists to feel the cool draft on the palms.

Exhaling with every breath, all that is you within me.

Staring with a tear held back, knowing that one of those far away specs is you, innocently drifting into the oblivion in his arms tonight.

That tear will not be shed now.

The Canvas

Tumbling thoughts, blurry images, deafening silence
Breaking it all, the ruffling of your hair
And the sweet scent that whirls around
Can't remember - 'twas the wild meadow
Or the fragrance you wear...

Surreal your touch; a petal on a lake
Our lips trembling; softly brushing away
Miles apart we are and yet
Can feel the warm breath
Can feel it taken away!

Restless heart; ever so slow
Almost loud, piercing the silence
Almost painful.
Were you ever here, like you said a million times
Did we hold hands, like we said a million times
I cannot tell, if this is for real
Or just my weary mind
Gliding strokes on a canvas...

-abhi

The Splendid Veils

The thought of being with you, the thought of being with anyone and the comforting delusion of the surroundings vanishing into nothing more than a thick cloud of haze. And the fear of this very haze engulfing us and lifting us high above everything else, to the point where our feet struggle to find ground and bury themselves in. The calmness that comes after, the loneliness that comes after and the painful reminders of a distant past; I don't like them all.

The fleeting glance, the teasing yet almost annoying denial; almost. Just when I'm on the verge of tripping into the abyss, you hold me; hold me and try to pull me toward you so gently that I'm more afraid of dragging you along instead. These games we play incessantly, yet we never dare ask who is being played in this affair. For it is not each other but one's own self. This much is clear, brutally so. 

Then why the futile assurances, why the hopeless rationalizations and why the constant anguish that stems from it after an almost amiable standstill; somehow more akin to deception. We all are victims of the splendid veils we so painstakingly construct and which, not surprisingly, are merely a naive adaptation to hide and protect our deepest feelings. I have walls around me and so do you. And so does every single one of the person who tells you otherwise. 

The more I try to pull myself away and the less difficult you make it to do so, I am drawn helplessly into this vortex, realising we are not very different, you and I. 

Bribes Modified to Incentives!

In India, ask any motorist what is the first thing that comes to mind when thinking of traffic rules and traffic police and the obvious answer is bribery! Not that the malpractice is not rampant in any other 'official work' but in the case of traffic rules it is so common that no one even raises an eyebrow anymore.

The cops standing the whole day at the lights don't get a fat paycheck at the end of the month and so resort to the easiest way of a little 'extra money'. For the violators it is a much easier way out - 100 bucks to the cop versus a legal fine of 300-500 bucks; few have the courage to do the right thing.

Of course, on top of this, let's be practical - I have seen (and I'm sure many others have too) two wheelers zoom off 5-6 secs before the light turns green even with a cop at the signal!

Why can't the penalty system for small traffic violations be 'incentive based'? What if, the cops were legally allowed to keep the entire amount of fine to themselves as an incentive? What I'm saying is this - if the cop catches a violator, he fines him the legally set amount, gives a receipt and that penalty is marked in the log under his name. At the end of the month along with his salary he gets his total incentive. In this scheme, the violator cannot bribe his way out by paying a smaller amount because the cop no longer has a motive to accept the bribe in the first place! This scheme can work only if the entire penalty amount is set as the 'incentive' - if, say for example, only half the amount is set as incentive (to go directly to the cop) and half goes to the department (where all the fines go in the current method of penalty) then the whole system fails again - the violator can offer to pay, for example, 0.75 of the set legal fine directly to the cop and the cop would also be tempted to accept it because now he would get 0.75 of the set fine instead of 0.50. Win-win for both; big time loss for the system!

Of course, this can only be implemented for minor traffic violations were generally the officer in charge has the final say, ie there is nothing to challenge his decision; if he says you jumped the signal, you jumped the signal. Then again, isn't it the case even now? In essence, implementing an 'incentive based penalty' is not going to cause any misuse of power, at least not any different than in the existing system! And needless to say, such class of violations is what forms the majority of traffic violations in cities, big and small.

Finally, will the system work? I think if people realise that there's no getting around paying the heafty fine, they won't dare to violate the rules any more. And yes, the cops would love it - they will be on their toes more than ever to catch violators - because it pays to do their job more effectively, literally!

Honestly, I'm not sure why this has not been propsed before and if it has been then what problems / pitholes are involved.

Beautiful Dream

I really, really wish I had a drum set, someone with a guitar and someone who would sing (female) right now to try out this crazy tune that is just stuck in my head and I've tried to put words to it.

It's just so weird (but totally satisfying!) to try to put words to a tune rather than the other way around.

It's impossible for me to put down exactly what cocktail of music and voices I have in my head right now but here goes - 

There is a soft, moderately paced (not dragging) background of drum beats.

The guitar is going in two pitches - I'm not sure if I want to say pitches (for guitar) or scales..whatever, just two identical pieces of strumming but in 'low' and 'high' versions.

Alternate lines are male and female voices (the first one being male) and the last two lines of each stanza are sung by both together.

The male voice is in a lower and slightly (very slightly) 'sad' and sort of 'repenting' tone.

The female voice is in a higher and 'brighter in mood' tone.

And the music is a little different for all three stanzas but basically same idea!

(Try to 'sing the lines' in the first tune that comes to your head for these syllables! :-))

I could ask you to be there;
          (I'd always be there with you)
I could beg you to hold on;
          (I'd always hold on to you)
But I could never tell you;
          (could you never ever tell me...)
That we'd always go on;
          (that we'd always go on!)

And I could take a thousand vows;
          (would you promise me just one thing...)
That I would never leave you;
          (that you'd stay by me forever)
But I could never tell you
          (could you never see it in me...)
How much I really love you
          (how much I really love you!)

And even if I feel like;
          (won't you ever feel like...)
Don't pull me any closer;
          (just holding me closer)
For I wanna be forever;
          (don't wanna wake up ever)
In this beautiful dream tonight;
          (in this beautiful dream tonight!)

-abhi

PS: The overall mood of the song is not 'heartbroken' or anything, it's more in a 'laughing it off' spirit, the way sometimes thoughts can be so similar yet unspoken.

Under the Stars

Orion and Canis Major

Taurus and Pleiades

Under the stars I lay

Orion and Auriga

Gazing upward in amazement!
Gliding across as if
Under their own ordainment

Serenity of an ocean
The stillness beneath ice
Placid the glowing starscape
Never fails to entice!

Peer as much as we may
Through our 'scopes mighty and small

Beehive Cluster

She will always have more treasures
Mother nature, to show us all...

-abhi


View entire photo album: CAC Star Party - 25th Jan 2012