The Plot Can Change!

"Your successes and challenges are the chapters that make up your personal narratives."

"My hope for you is that when you discover your passion, when you know what you want to do above all else, don't let anything hold you back."

"As you live out your personal story, be aware that the plot can change!"

"As you sit here today, waiting for your turn to walk across this stage, it is impossible for you to imagine the twists that your career path will take."

"I know you will move the world forward. You already have begun."

These are some excerpts from our University President, Dr. France Cordova's speech at the 215th commencement ceremony of Purdue University. It was an amazing experience walking up the stage of Elliotte Hall to receive our diplomas (or rather a symbolic folder of the same) from her. This pure joy and excitement will last for a long time; the joy of completing one objective and the excitement of setting eyes on to the next! 

After a Master's Degree in Civil Engineering, having decided to pursue a Doctorate in Materials Science and Engineering, there are more than few concerns that leave me unsettled every time I think about it. Changing streams in the academic path at any stage is not an easy task and the decision to do so at this level surely took some intense thought process. Family, friends and mentors will always be there to guide and support but their counsel stops there; the decision is for us to make. The decision and all the repercussions it brings are the sole responsibility of the individual. 

It is not uncommon for students in the US to change fields of study and some of these are rather drastic. The same cannot be said about a vast majority of students in India. We are generally inclined to continue in our chosen paths of study; paths that are sometimes chosen by parents, teachers or other wise people. Although that may be a good starting point, it may not be the best path for many. However, due to several reasons, students continue in their respective fields and succeed too, per the commonly accepted measures like a stable job, good earning and high standard of living.

The single most important thing from Dr. Cordova's speech that resonates with my thoughts greatly is that "the plot can change!" I sincerely believe that there is no business for inertia to creep in to one's decision making process regarding the career path he/she has to pursue. I implore you, all my friends and acquaintances, junior and senior to me alike, to introspect whether you are absolutely satisfied with what you have set out to achieve. And recalling what our President urged us - "when you discover your passion, when you know what you want to do above all else, don't let anything hold you back."

Burning Fragrance

"Left side good to go; right side good... Ok, the line is now hot!"

Once the range officer declares the firing line hot, we remove our rifle from it's case, prone, open the bolt action, feed the chamber with a round, close the action, take aim...and gently squeeze the trigger! Exiting the barrel at a muzzle velocity just under the speed of sound, the bullet strikes the target. The spent cartridge is then expelled out of the chamber. Satisfaction..the fragrance of burnt charge.

This is one of those things I wonder why I had not started earlier! Although I knew such a club existed on campus, it wasn't until Mohit asked me to go along for the callout a couple of weeks earlier that I decided to join it - the Purdue Rifle and Pistol Club. Twice every week members can go to the indoor firing range for two hour sessions; the weapons - .22 caliber long rifles and pistols. We are free to choose either one and can switch between the two as well. For some odd fascination I've started out with the rifle and the way it's going I don't intend to switch anytime soon. Since the technique is very different for the two classes of firearms, I personally feel it's better to stick to one type, at least till a good level of skill and accuracy is achieved in it.

Peering through the sights, trying to hold breath and take aim, everything else is pushed out of mind..academic pressure, the need to push one to the limit, the loneliness amidst the crowd..everything blurs away like the rear sight..and all that remains in focus is the target..the target to be hit with lethal accuracy.

"...battery..friend..drugs..busted..."

"I can sit on the floor but I have to get on this bus; I've got to make it to work tomorrow!", a woman in her forties blurted. I had just boarded a bus from downtown Columbus, Ohio. Apparently, there was one less seat on the bus than the number of tickets sold; ridiculous. Thankfully, there was one seat 'reserved' for an extra driver in case the journey was a long one and two drivers were needed (this is what fellow passengers concluded). So no one had to sit on the floor and we were on our way; albeit after a good 30 minutes delay.

As soon as we hit the interstate, the guy sitting next to me started chatting. At first I was responsive and for a very brief while even actively talking on neutral topics. The guy was originally from Germany, now settled in the US. When I told him I am from India, there was an approving smile on his face. Soon he got talking about our different cultures, customs, religions, economies and what not!

To start with, he asked me if I had read the Quran and Bible. Me not being familiar with either of the books beyond the generally believed ideologies, he started explaining his understanding of the Quran and then later tried to show me a parrallel between the two books in some aspects. I tried not to express my views about religion, God or the disbelief in either of these. Later when he started digging deep into what I felt or what I followed I didn't attempt to lie.

Realising my lack of enthusiasm in discussing religious ideologies, he turned to customs and traditions. He spoke about how the younger generation in the US is not as disciplined as some other cultures, how the parents are to be solely blamed for this and that they set very loose ideals for the kids by themselves leading an overly casual life. Now by this time, the ladies sitting across the aisle were glancing occasionally toward us because the man was getting rather loud in his own excitement. Long ago I had tried to indicate my total lack of interest in talking; his pea-brain simply did not register this.

Somewhere along the line, his friend from Nepal popped up in the conversation. This friend had told him a lot about the lifestyle in the subcontinent and had somehow brainwashed him into believing that the western world was all crap and that he needs to adopt a more 'natural' way of life. Now our German friend was getting hyper. At first there was an occasional crap, shit, fuck (which got stiff glances from the older ladies) but soon his language turned into something that would make a sailor shy! I mean, now he was getting all gung-ho about how the world is going crazy, there is chaos everywhere and shit. I was looking outside the window on the other side.

Finally, I took out my cell to call someone more sane. After a couple of unanswered and 'busy' calls, it felt nice to hear someone on the other side (Mitali, you saved the day! And Gubby you should throw your cell in the drain!). I was explaining my situation to her by describing everything in Marathi for obvious reasons. So "toh manus, jyane khup lokanna trass dila, tyacha mule vishwa yudha zhali" (the man who tortured a lot of people and because of whom world wars broke out) was answered with a laughing "Hitler" and so she figured our friend was a German. After a little fun this way describing the Holy Books, religions, customs and everything he was blabbering about in a cryptic (and totally comic) way she was now sympathetic! I have to admit it was fun though!

As soon as I was done with the call he got chatting again; this guy was totally unbelievable! I somehow got him to stay quiet by pretending my head was aching and I was going to try to get some shut eye. Before long, I called my friend in Indy to make sure he was coming to pick me up at downtown and to tell him I was running late. Our friend requested to make a call to someone from my phone to pick him up. Honestly, for a minute I considered being a jerk but asked him to go ahead and dial instead. He took out his wallet to fish out the number. No one picked up. He told me he was calling his sister to pick him up and that she was so careless to leave her cell lying somewhere. Then he went on to show me his wife's photo and said that she would have come to pick him up without him having to call.

I guess I missed the exact sequence of his jibber-jabber but somewhere along he told me how he considered his wife and children to be the negative forces in his life (I know it sounds contradictory but hey the guy had lost it!). According to some of his newly studied literature he needed to get rid of all the negative forces in his life and so he was going to do just that! The guy even told me the exact date - 3rd August!

Now everything was falling in place - this guy had previously asked me about the cost of living in India and Nepal. I have to admit it was entertaining though - "So do you think if I had 600 of this American money in cash and went to India, would I be rich there? Can a guy live like a king in 600 bucks a month?" I didn't even have to convert the currency to bring him down to mother earth and break it to him that what he was hoping to live off was kind of what an average middle class earned in the city!" Then again, he reminded me that he was going to 'wash his hands off' his wife and children and move alone to another place. I gave up. He even ran some really weird concepts by me like "the banks there are also bad - if they realise you work outside and bring in all your money here and live off it and then go out again to earn and bring in money, they'll just close your account and take away all your money!" I wasn't even going to try to get him on track with this one! I just said a semi "not really" for fear that any stronger denial and the guy would go on to present a full defense of his research!

Sometime toward the end he started a totally new thread of conversation. He asked, "have you served time, any time? you know, just the minor stuff even?" Before I could answer he continued, "It's not as bad in prison you know... they serve you food - three square a day, you can build your body all day long, read paper, play ball... and you know what's the kick of it - it's all tax money!" Beautiful, I wondered! I asked him what he went in for and he said, "Well, this was some time ago, for battery..beat up my girlfriend.." (I had absolutely no reaction to give!) "..nah, just kiddin'! I was just hanging out with a friend of mine.. you know just roaming the country and we were doing crazy stuff and then he asked if I wanted to smoke - not the usual stuff though.." (I'm thinking may be drugs?! wtf!) "..I was like hell ya and.." (I was still trying to digest the fact that I'm sitting in a bus next to a guy who's been in prison?! so I kind of missed some details in between) "..and man that ******-****** turns out to be a CI - confidential informant and I'm busted.." (Great! This just doesn't get any better!) "..but I've done my time.." I didn't care to listen to the words trailing off after that.

After getting down at Indy he was almost rejoicing with hands waving in the air in a 'yeah, this is it' manner. As I headed inside the bus station the guy looked at me and nodded as if to say 'come on, let's go'... (yeah, sure, why not!) I just ignored him for the last time.

Witnessing History - What a Day!

My cell phone rings the default alarm tune that I'm so accustomed to now - it's 4:45 am. I'd set this alarm to wake up and go to the university to watch the final; the World Cup final! Lazily, I slide my finger on the screen, putting the alarm on snooze. After some time Neelam calls - "Arre tu uthlas ka? Mi attach uthle, toss pan zhala ani Sri Lanka chi batting ahe... mi tari atta nahi jat, nantar apli batting baghayla jain!" (Did you wake up? I just woke up, the toss is done and Sri Lanka is going to bat... at least I'm not going right now, will go later to watch our batting!) I reply in a similar manner and go to sleep, now realising that I had slept only about two and a half hours after a few late night poker rounds with the guys and then editing some long overdue photos!

After some time I finally get out of bed, determined to push sleep aside and enjoy the match. I go out in the hall where Varun welcomes me with a broad - "kya yaar kitne runs bana rahe hain!" (these guys are scoring so many runs!) Now, Varun is the kind of die hard cricket fan who can spit out stats off the top of his head and often amazes me with his micro analysis of the game. I look at the score on his laptop - this guy is watching the game online, has a couple of similar sites ready and also has just the live scorecard in another tab, in case the feed gets disrupted; he's so involved in the game that it seems like blasphemy to not be updated of the score at every ball! The Lankans are a few runs shy of 200 but knowing this is the final and with a few overs in hand we both exchange a few concerned estimates at the Indian target and he gets back to watching the match while 'facebooking' in yet another tab!

I pour out cereals for myself and sit in my room, video chatting with mom - with an eye on the scorecard. After talking for a while (read the time it takes the Lankans to reach their final score) I decide I should go to the university now to watch an exciting Indian chase! On my way out I ask casually when is our inning starting and Varun shoots back - "arre ek wicket geli pan - Sehwag" (one wicket has already fallen - Sehwag). With a total wtf tone I ask isn't there a decent gap between two innings; we've just bowled right?! "Ya, but because we took a lot of time for bowling there's very little gap before our batting. And Dhoni also has to pay some fine I think" - the cricket buff shoots me down! I had some idea about this penalty funda but now I just feel plain stupid for asking in the first place!

A few quick calls to friends (to  know who's coming when) and I head for the university where a nice big hall is set up for watching the match with a big crowd. As I cross the Union building I mentally picture the whole crowd on their feet cheering and shouting for Team India, knowing that the Master Blaster would be getting in form now. I practically run the stairs up to Mathew 210. But everything is fairly quiet, people are sitting peacefully, a few are loitering around and the atmosphere is more suited to a guest lecture than the World Cup final! Neelam quickly spots me at the door and we walk to the row where they are sitting. I settle in the spot Mitali has saved and in a few seconds Amit comes and sits next to me, although with total lack of enthusiasm - not quite the guy I know! A commercial is just on so I ask the girl (in a what-the-hell expression) why is everyone so quiet. She smiles helplessly and says "Sachin chi wicket geli!" (Sachin's wicket is down!)

Shit, bullshit - we're screwed big time! I guess everyone in the hall, or rather supporters all over the world are thinking the same thing at this point! Leaning toward Amit I get the update of the part I missed while on my way here. The crowd remains gloomy for some time. The game looks so dull that we go out in the corridor to grab some food and catch up on trivial conversation. Later, Amit and I go to the back of the hall a few times to join a few others in cheering for the ones and twos and shouting really hard for the good shots. The momentum starts to pick up on the field and the crowd responds proportionally. By the time we cross 150 things look better. People jump up on good shots and boundaries get excited hi-fives! Come 200 and there's a pleasant, tumbling feeling within each one - can this really happen?!

And then the finishing sixer by the Captain; the crowd goes ballistic! Everyone is jumping in the air, cheering, shouting, hugging and practically lifting each other! What a surge of emotions, what a feeling of sheer happiness; simply euphoric. We can just not find ways to express the jubilation. After the feeling of triumph has finally settled in each one, we sit down to watch the finale - the awards ceremony; all the while still intermittently cheering for the heroes, our heroes! Calls to friends back home tell us that people are out on the streets by the thousands, celebrating the grand victory. Yes, we miss being home more than ever, we feel proud more than ever!

After finally returning to a more 'stable' state of mind, a bunch of us go to Sharma's Kitchen - a nice Indian restaurant in Lafayette. The weather is just perfect; thanks Amit for letting me drive but I am so damn tempted to take her on an open road and hit the pedal! A hearty lunch (and the very friendly Mrs. Sharma) does full justice to the celebration!

We all return home and mostly retire to a nice afternoon nap. What a day - the day we won the Cricket World Cup, after so many years and in full style like true champions!

Cheers Team India!

A Different Wilderness

Terrific mood to write something; had it since a few days but nothing seemed to form in the haze of billions of thoughts in my head. Times of sheer enthusiasm, the urge to get out of your cocoon and shout out loud!

The feeling of new, tender friendships, strong yet easily ripped bonds, eagerness to connect, eff-ed up emotions and multitude of everything in between! Un-complicate the complicated, live in the moment.

Want to drift away in the haze. Call friends, gather a flock; pick up the dusty rucksack, stuff essentials, throw in the photo gear; thrust feet into a sturdy pair of shoes and take off! Go out, frame some sexy shots - with spring beginning to emerge out of the freezing air, there will be plenty of 'wow' moments and I'm not hinting at low necklines and shorts! Escape to a serene place, capture through lens everything around, blabber nonsense amongst all for a while, be alone for a while.

Thoughts of everything unconcerned, clear, sterile. Be myself, give it a chance - long overdue introspection. Leave behind tatters of seemingly meaningless matters - drone work, assignments, course projects. Take up something challenging and stretch the limit; test the limit. Physical and mental barriers, comfort zones, personal space; disconnect from these, go beyond these.

Another series of thoughts, more fulfilling, yearning to be with someone. Laugh hard at fear, disapproval, dejection and all similar darkness clad, unnecessary thoughts!

The Flowing Still

The stubborn night, the same chill in the air, the same soft moonlight; they were on the same bridge. She was in his favourite chiffon. Neither spoke for a while. The only sound was from far below the deck; the water flowing ever so smoothly, its surface broken only by the piers of the bridge.

Guy: This isn't very different from the day we first..
Girl (interrupting): That day was never meant to happen; our paths were never meant to cross.
Guy: You still don't believe in fate.
Girl: Your 'fate' has a rather brutal way of playing games; games without rules.
Guy (sighing): What time is your train?
Girl: In an hour.
Guy (looking in her eyes): You look beautiful.
Girl: You don't look too bad yourself...(forcing a smile on her face)
(Their hands touched each other's on the railing; three seconds later she pulled hers away)

Guy: Will you miss me?
Girl: I've learnt not to.
Guy: Have you forgiven me?
Girl: I can't even answer that to myself...
       I'm sorry. Yes, I'll miss you.

Guy (looking at the ring on her finger): Congratulations.
Girl: Take care of yourself. I have to go.

She walked away. By the time she reached the end of the bridge, there was a loud thud on the surface below.

Ordo ab Chao

Order from chaos is what the title means, in Latin. There are countless changes taking place around us, every moment of every day. The following is a video of ice cubes melting in a glass, as would be seen backward in time!

'Time lapse' is a technique in photography which tries to capture a rather slow event which in its 'regular' course of time does not interest the common eye. Essentially this form of photography involves seeing an event much faster than it occurs in real time. This is achieved by taking successive images of the event at regular intervals of time and later playing them back at a fast rate. This can then be made a little more appealing by adding music or other effects such as playing the sequence in the reverse order of the captured frames.

Details of the above video (for anyone who cares)-

Total frames: 2100

Interval between successive frames: 5 sec

Time elapsed (real time): 175 min

(neglecting the shutter time, which was roughly 1/10 to 1/13 sec - this was entirely for getting a good exposure; although the exposure had to be adjusted afterwards anyway!)

Playback: 33.33 fps; rather each frame is seen for 0.03 sec

The images for this video were mainly taken to test an electronic cable release I recently purchased. I must say this cable release has performed amazingly in this test as well as some other random tests that I did. It has a very intuitive and easy input method and has multiple functions like cable release, timer, intervalometer, bulb exposure etc. At just $20 this is a great accessory for anyone serious about astrophotography or even time lapse for that matter. It's a 3rd party manufacturer by the name "Shoot" - google and amazon are your friends!